31 Hilarious Weirdos Who Wrote Stuff That'll Make You Go, "What Did I Just Read?"

    "Property of the Johnson Family. Violators WILL be prostituted."

    1. The nurses at this hospital in China didn't speak the best English, so they gave this note to an English patient explaining he was going to have surgery in the morning:

    Handwritten note reads: "Tonight 22:00 after no food, no water. Tomorrow morning 8:00" with corresponding icons for food, water, and a knife with a drop of blood

    2. This girlfriend gave her boyfriend notes on his paper...and held absolutely nothing back about how crappy she thought it was:

    Laptop screen showing an in-progress essay, with the user annotating and questioning the text with expletives and concerns about the validity of the information

    3. And it seems these people really, really, REALLY don't want anyone messing with their chair:

    A blue chair with a sign that reads, "Property of the [Name Redacted] Family. Violators WILL be Prostituted."

    4. Whoever wrote this fortune deserves a raise immediately:

    Fortune cookie message on a wooden surface reads, "About time I got out of that cookie."

    5. I THINK this person is saying they want folks to push to lock, not turn it:

    Multiple signs on a door with instructions to "Push to Lock" and "Do Not Turn" the lock

    6. And this wife put quite the inscription on this cake for her second anniversary:

    A chocolate cake with colorful sprinkles and damaged frosting. The cake reads "#2. We didn't get divorced!" in green icing

    7. This rejection letter Playgirl magazine used to send wannabe centerfolds is just...chef's kiss:

    A rejection letter from Playgirl magazine dated August 10, 1983, humorously declining a photo submission due to its rating and unappealing nature

    8. This flyer someone posted might be even funnier:

    9. And this resignation letter may not exactly be professional, but it's absolutely perfect:

    Napkin with handwritten message "Yo I’ll be gone on the 25th," accompanied by a doodle of a dancing figure

    10. This drawing found in a 6-year-old's backpack needs to be framed:

    A child's drawing with the text "I love pooping" and a stick figure next to a pile

    11. This daughter's note to her dad on Father's Day was not exactly sentimental:

    Handwritten note reads: "When I grow up, I want to be as funny as you think you are." The background shows a blurry outdoor scene

    12. And this kid's Mother's Day card was pretty A+ too (don't worry, she got permission from dad to use a swear):

    Handwritten note on pink paper saying, "You’ re an awesome mom. Keep that shit up... " with a drawing of a thumbs-up

    13. This wife is petrified of slugs, so when one came in the house, she went a little overboard:

    A handwritten note reads: "Scary slug infiltrated. Hid him in a trolley under pile of salt under glass bowl. Very sorry, but could you deal with it? Love you x." There's a glass bowl with salt on the floor

    14. This note was mailed cross county by one brother to another (and if that isn't brothers I don't know what is):

    A greeting card is open, revealing the single word "Bitch" written in the center. The card features a bird perched on a branch with light foliage in the background

    15. And this bumper sticker is 100% me while driving on Los Angeles freeways:

    Bumper sticker on a Subaru car displaying a meme image of a grumpy-looking white cat with the text "Just let me merge pls."

    16. I don't know, I think this airline's falcon rule might be a dealbreaker for me:

    Image of airplane seating policy for Seat 26C. Passengers must be able-bodied, speak and understand English, and not be pregnant or traveling with a falcon

    17. The funny girls in the apartment under some loud-ass dudes (who make a LOT of noise at 2 a.m.) sent them this note:

    Handwritten note with explicit language asking loud people to be quiet after 9 PM, describes them as wild, annoying, and requests calmness

    18. And the guys, to their credit, sent back this hilarious response:

    Handwritten note saying, "It's Game Time" with three folded tickets labeled for a "3rd floor bitches" event and a computer keyboard in the background

    19. The safe sex messages on these condoms get better the longer you read them:

    Ten Royal Caribbean napkins with humorous messages about practicing safe sex, and one purple Trojan condom package in the center

    20. This sign in a small restaurant in India has a lot of attitude:

    A humorous store policy sign with rules like "Customer sometimes right" and "No refund, no exchange." Exception favors women. Signed "We Speak English."

    21. And this note to a neighbor who has been having loud sex is hilariously awkward:

    22. Gotta love this kid who made their own "do not disturb" sign so they could nap uninterrupted:

    A handmade sign on a door handle reads, "Stop! Theer is stoming Naping."

    23. Also funny? This kid who didn't love his summer camp's rule that he had to write a letter home:

    A handwritten note reads, "Dear mom, I was forced to write this to eat. Love, John." The note is held in a hand

    24. And then there's this kid's note to her dad, which is full of love and hilarious honesty:

    A handwritten note reads, "Dear Dad, I love you very much you are weird, funny, and stupid. I like it when you watch dragon balls and stranger things with me and you always make me smile. from Courtney". The opposite page says, "You weird Man"

    25. Yes, spotted lanternflies can be a problem for crops, but this flyer comes off a little bloodthirsty, don't you think?

    A poster with a detailed drawing of a spotted lanternfly, urging people to kill it on sight to prevent damage to trees and crops, includes a QR code to scan for more information

    26. Hi! This note is from Barb & Tom! You're new passive aggressive Christian neighbors!

    Handwritten note from Barb and Tom asking neighbors to tone down their activities for the sake of their impressionable young daughter

    27. And this girlfriend's apology note is hilariously sweet:

    28. This man with Parkinson’s (and a great sense of humor) thought it'd be funny to send out this as his Christmas letter — his wife added the sticker so no one would freak out:

    A handwritten yellow note with unreadable text. A printed label at the bottom says, "It’s not that bad, Norm thinks it’s funny!" The corner has "Ha Ha" with a smiley face

    29. This letter from the devil — I mean KIA — is just too damn funny:

    A letter from "Satan" offering to purchase the recipient's soul, with a highlighted section indicating a higher than usual offer. The letterhead is from a Kia dealership

    30. This note from a toddler — transcribed by her preschool teacher — makes one very urgent point:

    Note from Poppy to Mommy asking not to include cheese in lunch anymore, expressing love and dislike for the cheese

    31. And this apology note from a little boy is what it's like raising boys in a nutshell:

    Child's handwritten note reads, "Dear Mommy, I am sorry I said I will put my balls in your face. I will never say that again."
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