These 52 Hilarious Tweets Are The Laugh We All Need Right Now Because The World Is Chaos
"Obsessed with the woman in my yoga class who paid for 60 minutes and laid motionless on the floor the entire time."
While enjoying these final few days of July, I've been scrolling my own timeline, BuzzFeed's viral tweets, fails, and Black Twitter roundups to find the funniest jokes people posted this month. Let's just say July was HILARIOUS, so let's get into it:
1.
We’re off to have a baby. They took a picture of me for my name tag to make sure nobody else could sneak in to watch my wife give birth. pic.twitter.com/lUusLei4FO
— wanye (@wanyeburkett) July 17, 2024
2.
braving Costco on a Saturday pic.twitter.com/b14WuIo14x
— Taylor Schumann (@taylorsschumann) July 27, 2024
3.
had a dream I told a profoundly funny joke to larger and larger audiences, who laughed harder and harder with each telling. woke up in the middle of the night and wrote it down. checked my nightstand in the morning and this was it pic.twitter.com/cRF2DVqLaf
— Michael Kandel (@K_A_N_D_E_L) July 15, 2024
4.
I don’t know exactly what my fiancé is doing at his bachelor party but there are signs pic.twitter.com/8Tgh87eSOt
— S.LIZ (@slizagna) July 26, 2024
5.
One thing every athlete should do on the eve of the biggest physical contest of their lives is take a three hour evening boat ride in the pouring rain
— Kevin Fallon (@kpfallon) July 26, 2024
6.
Told my nephew to get off that game and hang up his clothes.... See now I'm mad 😂 pic.twitter.com/vrewfjv7So
— Hennessey James (@_EricLamarBeatz) July 28, 2024
7.
Kamala’s VP options: pic.twitter.com/G5WF0g3AZA
— Robert Komaniecki (@Komaniecki_R) July 21, 2024
8.
obsessed with the woman in my yoga class who paid for 60 minutes and laid motionless on the floor the entire time
— Cat (@CatOrman1) July 15, 2024
10.
shrek 2 wasn’t on streaming so now we’re watching the game boy advance video version on our 4k tv pic.twitter.com/1OxEYlnEG9
— union brat josie 🏳️⚧️ (@UnionJosie) July 7, 2024
11.
What was that tweet about how white people love pulling back while you’re making out and saying “hi”
— Ira (@iramadisonthree) July 26, 2024
12.
BRAT Summer (Bedridden, Resting, Asleep, Tired)
— bald ann dowd (@ali_sivi) July 25, 2024
13.
This is just pure wickedness!!!!!! 😕 pic.twitter.com/dx5fa6HCVa
— Funk Butcher (@FunkButcher) July 12, 2024
14.
bruh why was i singing a song in the uber and the driver was like “nah u havin too much fun” and changed the song ????😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
— ⭐️IT GIRL⭐️ (@aliyahInterlude) July 22, 2024
15.
before the screening they handed us these little film strips and the guy handing them out said in a very serious voice “don’t eat them” and i thought it was a reference to something that would happen in the movie. but it wasn’t. why did he say that pic.twitter.com/u9QbwVM0bq
— largest rodent (@capybaroness) July 11, 2024
16.
just ordered coconut cream pie, black coffee, & a side of bacon for lunch & my friend said it was "giving death row"
— shy watson (@formermissNJ) July 28, 2024
19.
Husband built a fire in the firepit then stared at it with his hands on his hips for 5 mins and said “fire is so sick. cavemen must’ve been so pumped”
— kourtney (@kourtneyinhell) July 23, 2024
20.
this spot reserved for ppl that twerk at babies https://t.co/fYYcEI7wyq
— Qadi (@BigQadi) July 25, 2024
21.
you’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house
— shar (@sharloola) July 24, 2024
22.
why do finance men wear backpacks. What's inside there. The money???
— delia (@delia_cai) July 24, 2024
23.
180 and 360 be eating yall up. https://t.co/FMpTg4qq0H
— SLIM (@_slimarella_) July 18, 2024
24.
I have access to unlimited carbon neutral AI. it’s called my imagination. I can make spongebob sing anything up there
— Pearl Rose (@hipearlrose) July 25, 2024
25.
My grandad thinks “butt dial” and “booty call” mean the same thing so imagine how funny it is to hear “JASMINE DID YOU BOOTY CALL ME YESTERDAY???” being yelled at you at 10:45 am.
— Grip Bayless✨ (@talleyberrybaby) July 18, 2024
26.
In a changing room someone sneezed so I instinctively said ‘bless you’ and she said ‘…who is that??’ and I said ‘me’
— Dee (@figgled) July 22, 2024
27.
flight attendant said they’re out of gingerale … ok so why am I even on this plane
— rajesh sandcat (@rajeshsandcat) July 20, 2024
28.
I love when stylish girls have a baby and stay stylish. Don’t let that bald headed baby steal your hotness.
— Alexa Leighton (@Alexa_leighton) July 14, 2024
29.
thanks mom pic.twitter.com/4A987xhNW3
— horse dentist (@equine__dentist) July 2, 2024
30.
General Lebron James crossing the Delaware pic.twitter.com/NBhGaehd2C
— Drea Blackwell (@KSBWDrea) July 26, 2024
31.
the crime the criminal pic.twitter.com/T6ymWwgRl2
— Why you should have a cat (@ShouldHaveCat) July 10, 2024
32.
no man has ever been this funny pic.twitter.com/7sFzRYDStF
— daniela (@dicknsn) July 28, 2024
35.
Biden being like “I just don’t wanna go in to work anymore” at 2:00 on a Sunday is peak relatability
— Jonathan Edward Durham (@thisone0verhere) July 21, 2024
36.
THEY LAUGHED AT ME FOR BRINGING TUMS TO THE CLUB BUT GUESS WHAT NOW THEYRE ALL ASKING ME FOR FUCKING TUMS IN THE CLUB
— chartreuse wahoo (@chartreusewahoo) July 20, 2024
37.
I set my wallpaper to this so I didn't feel like I was missing out. pic.twitter.com/rEyM9tzwEP
— Loftwah (@loftwah) July 19, 2024
38.
my friend is 6'5" and told me something thrilling and disturbing once. he said whenever he takes the train during rush hour, he sees the same few other 6'5" guys' heads poking out of the morass of people, like treetops. they have a special 6'5" guys nod and everything
— rax ‘leads with her crotch’ king (@RaxKingIsDead) July 3, 2024
39.
Whoever painted this rock to look like a finger, fuck you pic.twitter.com/ytShvYZCGi
— Taco (@ThatDudeTaco) July 24, 2024
40.
Well my ex canceled the Spotify premium I was using which unfortunately means I am revoking her Dads access to my Disney +. Good guy. Hate to see him caught in the crossfire
— Craig Adams (@CraigAdams42069) July 15, 2024
43.
“From Tahiti, I’m Colin Jost, this is my job.” pic.twitter.com/yazv2MG4tF
— Mitch Goldich 🐙 (@mitchgoldich) July 28, 2024
44.
Brother that’s Chilis https://t.co/VlddUtkzLP
— Derrico Henrio (@derrico_henrio) July 28, 2024
46.
we stayed at an air bnb with the most perfect pillows. a revelation. perfectly firm but soft. my neck stopped hurting. so I wrote down the brand and item number from the tag and looked it up and they're the same pillows we have at home
— katie (@katefeetie) July 16, 2024
47.
my daughter asked why she can’t just quit school and i told her it’s against the law and they’ll put me in jail and my sweet sweet child looked me in the eye and said “i’ll visit you”
— Mandy (@MandyLawani) July 20, 2024
48.
Never check your work email on a day off pic.twitter.com/FeL21vmCww
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) July 21, 2024
49.
My man was taking a bikini picture of me yesterday and said suck in your stomach and I— like thank u for the direction but???
— G (@genesissco_) July 6, 2024
50.
Dentists will turn to their nurses and say
— L D N _ L E W🦩S (@LDN_Lewis) July 6, 2024
‘A24 - fatal traumatic root eruption’
and then turn to you like ‘all healthy 👍’
51.
My child just used the auto fill info on the iPad TO BOOK HIS OWN VACATION. Now I get to make phone calls explaining that we need to cancel these reservations because the gentleman who made them is in fact nine
— Virginia Brasch (@Virginia_Brasch) July 3, 2024
Jfc
52.
You peel one piece of skin off ya lip and the whole lip unzip like wtf
— BASED SAVAGE (@crackcobain__) July 1, 2024